Finding Peace in the Now

Hey friends! It’s been a while since we last spoke. I hope this note finds you cultivating peace in your life right now. 

The last couple of months have been quite a ride for me. My business is expanding in its reach so I’ve been spending plenty of time fueling it to get it to the next level. (Disclaimer: This business is fueled by naps and imagination, not hustle and grind.)

My work is paying off, but what I’ve learned is that I haven’t mastered the beast of uncertainty and how it can zap my drive and momentum. 

Uncertainty sucks. It can really make you spiral. It’s almost as bad as actually feeling certain, only to be let down when things don’t go how you expect. I’m not sure how many times I need to repeat the cycle of feeling certain, being disappointed, then worrying in the uncertainty before I learn to do it differently. Maybe this happens to you, too? 

Like all patterns of behavior, awareness is the key to shifting it. When you are aware of it, you can make different choices along the way to change your experience of it. 

My first opportunity to shift the pattern is right at the beginning. Instead of feeling certain about an outcome, I can redirect that focus to just the next right step. I can remind myself that certainty is an illusion and release my expectations about how things will actually turn out. My problem is, at this stage, I’m usually excited and dreaming big. 

If I haven’t successfully released my expectations of the outcome from the jump, then when things don’t go according to plan, my emotional state can drop off the edge of the cliff. I give myself permission to sit in that space until I’m ready to move on from it, which can be a few hours or several days. 

Only when I’m ready, and not before, I remind myself that right timing doesn’t always mean right now. I can never know exactly why the universe had different plans, but I know that sometimes the “bad” experiences or outcomes are exactly right for me. Sigh. It takes a lot of mental work to reframe the experience in a way that allows me to reset and move forward. 

Usually, the emotional downswing is followed by a period of intense uncertainty. All the sudden, I'm in a place I was not at all expecting. It can be hard to see which direction to go next. I had a plan, and it didn’t work, so what exactly am I supposed to do now?

Uncertainty is very uncomfortable. It’s scary. It kicks up our survival instincts. For me, I fear that I won’t be successful despite all of my best efforts. That I will fail in my responsibilities. That I will run out of money and lose everything. 

This is all perfectly normal, mind you. Perhaps your fears are a little different than mine when you are in this void of uncertainty. But I'm willing to bet you know exactly what I mean. 

The worries can feel overwhelming at times. They can consume my thoughts. And because I’m me, not only do I think about them, I start making a plan to address them as if they are reality and not just my body trying to protect me. 

The overwhelm signals another inflection point where I can shift the pattern. Rather than feeding my worries, I try to redirect my energy to the present moment:

• At this moment, I’m actually fine. 

• At this moment, I have what I need to survive and then some. 

• At this moment, I’m taking care of myself and my family, and they are also fine. 

I remind myself that nothing is ever certain. Uncertainty is the default state of existence. Even if I've done the same thing 50 times in a row with the same result, it doesn't mean the 51st time can’t be different. 

It takes a lot of intentionality to allow that reframing to take hold in my body in such a way that calms me and guides me back to even. It’s not automatic, but it works. And I’m getting better at it the more I practice it. 

One day, maybe it will be so ingrained in my belief system that my mind doesn’t even wander to the worries. Better yet, maybe I won’t repeat the pattern because I have no expectations to begin with. 

We’ll see. 

For now though, I have found my way back to peace this time. Thankfully. I accept the uncertainty of life. I accept that everything that I do is just an experiment and my expectations are just my hypothesis. I understand that sometimes the outcome isn’t even the point of it. Sometimes the process, the pattern, and the opportunity to break the pattern is the point. 

Wishing you peace in your present moment,

Jill

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