Human Design: Honoring Reflectors
In the Human Design system, we have one type that I consider our real life unicorns - Reflectors. Reflectors represent only approximately 1% of the population, and they serve a very important purpose. Their design allows us to see the state of our own wellbeing, and the wellbeing of our community, through their reflection. In other words, how they are doing tells us a lot about the health of the communities in which they are a part of.
What makes the design of Reflectors so unique is that all of their 9 energy centers are “open.” This means that they don’t have their own energy in a consistent and reliable way. Instead, they bring in energy from the world around them and amplify it. With so much energy pouring in, it can hard for our Reflectors to know what’s theirs and what’s someone else’s. While there are challenges to be faced with being so sensitive, the gift is it makes Reflectors incredibly wise about all of the facets of the human experience.
I heard somewhere along the way in my Human Design studies that if we were smart, we’d place our Reflectors at the center of our communities. We’d center their experience, knowing that how they are doing is simply a reflection of our own wellbeing. And if we chose to support them, then we’d support everyone in relationship with them.
Unfortunately, this isn’t our reality…yet! We have a tendency to tell the sensitive souls around us to “toughen up” and “keep up,” which causes them to do work and life in a way that isn’t good for them. We don’t give them the space they need to thrive, which ends up burning them out quicker than it would someone else. When we do that, we lose track of the gifts they can share with us - the wisdom they hold from the way they experience and sense the world.
When our Reflectors are thriving, then we all are more likely to be thriving. Here’s how we can help:
Give them alone time: Because Reflectors are constantly bringing in energy from those around them, they need plenty of time and space to be alone to process and discharge some of that energy. This is true for all sensitive beings, but doubly so for Relfectors. Alone time helps them understand what’s theirs to make sense of and what they can let go of. Help them find some time in solitude as often as they need it.
Notice their wellbeing: Reflectors are “reflecting” the wellbeing of the community they are part of. You can sense your own wellbeing by how they are when they’re with you. You can see how healthy an environment is by noticing how our Reflectors are feeling. This is an incredibly gift they have to offer us, if we are willing to pay attention to their sense of wellness.
Give them a month to decide: Reflectors need 28 days to make a solid decision for themselves. How often do we allow people to take this kind of time to decide? More often, we pressure people to decide as soon as possible. This is not correct for Reflectors. If you pressure them to decide, they will just make the choice based on how they feel in the moment, which may change over time. If we want to truly honor their wisdom, we must give them more space to consider and decide.
Listen without giving advice: This is very hard for most people, especially with the ones we love. But Reflectors don’t need our advice. And in some cases, our advice can actually make their decision process harder. Practice listening only. Allow them to talk through their options, which will bring them clarity. You can ask probing questions, but remember to serve as their sounding board unless they ask your opinion.
Take care of them: When we center the needs of the Reflectors in our communities, we are helping all of us. Because they are so open, they may need more support in doing life and each of us can help with that. If we want to truly honor these special beings, then we’ll make sure their needs are met and they are supported. And in that process, we learn about what it means to make sure all of us are healthy and cared for.
Imagine for a moment what it must be like to feel the energy of other people, of the collective, all the time. In this world, in this moment in history. Even those of us who are a little less sensitive can be easily overwhelmed by all of it. Reflectors came into this world to help us see ourselves. To help us see how we what we do affects the wellbeing of the communities we are part of. This is their gift to us. And we can honor them by making space for them to be who they truly are.
If you love a Reflector, then try out some of these tips to make them feel really good about who they are. And if you’re a Reflector, remember your sensitivity is your SUPERPOWER and your gift to the world. Don’t be afraid to find communities that really see and honor you - it will be good for everyone!
P.S. We’d love to share your human design with you! Order your FREE chart OR book a reading here!
